It was a normal day.
A normal day as a closeted bisexual femme.
I had eaten breakfast, took a shower and I made a post on Facebook. That I consider myself bisexual. After I had asked my “holier than thou” facebook friends where in the bible did Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit say that homosexuality was a sin. In which, I did not get a clear answer.
I have always been attracted to beautiful things, spirits and people. For as long as I could possibly remember. The first person that I told about my attraction to womyn was a elementary school R. O. D. ( ride or die) and she shrugged it off saying “it’s cool”.
in high school, I tried talking to a stud. however, I was still very much so in the closet and impartial to what people would say about me. she was so beautiful but I was not confident in my faith or who I was to establish a relationship.
in college, I told my boyfriend ( we are still dating to this day) and he responded ” It’s cool”.
the problem is, I never told my family.
I have a close relationship with my siblings and my mother and grandmother and my cousins. but for some reason, I was still ashamed. I do not come from a conservative household about the issue. homosexuality is something we never talked about. whenever Ellen would come on Modern Family, my family would not judge or turn their nose up…we kept watching the show.
I should have told them first before I put it on facebook. because that spread like wildfire, I felt like my name was in everyone’s mouth for a week. I had calls from people I haven’t talked to years admiring my “bravery” and family members saying they will pray for me etc. the day after I came out I was trying to figure out what should I wear now that I am bisexual. is pink okay?
I had to explain to friends why I did not tell them this secret of mine and not to take offense that it was on facebook first. but I realized that disclosing your sexuality to some people is disclosing that you are pregnant. it affects others around you , whether you like it or not. and your family wants to be involved, whether you like it or not because they love you! and anything you put out in the world they wanna be on your side.
so it makes sense that my family and loved ones were upset.
If I had to come out all over again, I would have told my family first before putting it on social media because I owe it to them.
I probably would have came out right after we watched Modern Family like “Funny story Mom, I’m bi and isn’t Cam hilarious?”
my mom still doesn’t understand. I am not sure if she ever will.
idk if any of my friends for sure unfriended me because of it, I am fortunate to receive more love than anything and questions lol of course.
the fact is closets are clothes, and dusty shoe boxes, but not people.
and I am grateful that my family welcomed me with open arms. the great thing is I have their support no matter what. im blessed for that.